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ANTIQUES ROADSHOW

 

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Antiques Roadshow. This week, we’ve hit the road and ended up in (name of your town) where antiquing fever is at epidemic proportions. Let’s take a look.

APPRAISER: Well, this is a very interesting piece. Tell us about the history behind it.

PERSON: I went to a rummage sale in (name of nearby town), and I came across a box that had various items in it and they were all priced at $1.00. I’m always looking for a bargain, and Mabel, who was with me, said that she had a couple of dollars, and so I said, well, we can get some bargains for $2.00. And, you know how it is. Sometimes you find some really great things. Like this one time, I found a Liza Minelli figurine made by Avon in the early ‘70’s, and, well, I just had to have it. So I…

APPRAISER: (yells) Ma’am! (quieter voice) Could we talk about this particular piece?

PERSON: Oh, yes, sorry. So I looked in the box and found not one, not two, but four of these glasses. They looked very rare, so I just had to have them.

APPRAISER: Let me share a little information about them. These glasses are part of a set of five glasses that were sold by the restaurant chain McDonald’s in the late 1970’s. On the bottom, you can see they were hand-blown and signed by the artist. They are all in impeccable shape, and it is really great to see specimens like this. It is a rare occasion to see these.

PERSON: Oh, my goodness. I told Mabel that I should have brought these to the Antiques Roadshow. She said there was no need to bother, but I…

APPRAISER: Yes, thank you, that will be quite enough. At an auction at Sotheby’s last month, the full set of five glasses sold for roughly $15,000. They are very much in demand.

PERSON: Oh my goodness. I cannot believe my luck. I know that Ralph and I could really use that money. Why, we were just saying the other day that…

APPRAISER: But, because there are only four here, and collectors desire to have a complete set, you will probably only get $3 to $4 a piece for them.

PERSON: But what happened to the $15,000. Let’s go back to the time when they were worth $15,000.

APPRAISER: Sorry, but that window was never open. Every single piece is important to the collector. Without a complete set, these are worthless.

PERSON: But I have four out of five. That’s very good. Winning four out of five games in the World Series would make you a champion. I can’t believe…

APPRAISER: If you were leaving a park with only four out of your five children, would that be good enough?

PERSON: Well, sure, if I could still get $15,000 for bringing four out of five of them home.

APPRAISER: Gentlemen, would you show this lady to the door? (TWO BIG GUYS DRAG HER OFF) Join us next time for the Antiques Roadshow.

   

By Lloyd Evans
© 2000 Lloyd Evans