Theme:
Sometimes when God is trying to rescue us, we miss the point.
Roles: Two people stranded on a boat, and a rescuer
Props: An inflatable boat and an oar, a cheesy poof
1:
So you think this is the right way?
2:
Oh yeah, it’s got to be.
1:
What makes you so sure?
2:
I know how to read a map
1:
Just like you knew how to listen to the weather forecast? “It’ll be sunny”
you said. “We’ll have a great time” you said. “We will bond as
brothers” you said. I should be punished severely for ever listening to you.
2:
You are being punished. You are lost at sea with me.
1:
How ironic.
2:
Look, what would you be doing now if our charter boat had not sunk? You would be
watching TV in the comfort of your own home eating chips and drinking a can of
soda.
1:
So what? That’s exactly what I want to do.
2:
By taking you on this trip, I’ve saved you from all of that fat, salt, and
sugar. You would have probably died from a bad diet anyway. I’ve just
eliminated the middle man.
1:
Wait a second. There’s a possibility that we might make it. You give up too
fast. I still have a dream that I will die from a bad diet instead of out here,
with you, in the middle of the ocean.
2:
Um, we’re on
1:
And with that kind of attitude, we never will get lost on a big ocean. You
always think small. You gotta dream big. I hope to live through this so that
some day I might get lost on the biggest ocean. Now that would be living.
2:
I’d call you an idiot, but that would burn precious calories I’ll need later
to call you stupid.
1:
Always an encourager.
2:
Well, I try my best. (looks at duffel bag). And here’s another nugget of
encouragement. We’re out of food.
1:
WHAT? I thought you said we had a full bag of cheesy poofs left.
2:
Well, I counted the food before someone ate the last of the chocolate
bars
1:
That was YOU!
2:
I didn’t say I thought that I made the right decision. But if you’ve got to
go, you might as well be filled with chocolate.
1:
We’re not going anywhere. I mean, how hard can it be to find two people in a
row boat on
2:
Remember right before we left, and you couldn’t find your sunglasses? You
looked everywhere in the house and in the car, and it turned out that they were
on your head?
1:
Remember when I pushed you off of the boat that we were both on in the middle of
2:
Yeah, those were great times.
1:
Anyway, you should never be negative. How do you know what is going to happen?
We might be found.
2:
Yeah, in the belly of a catfish the size of a volkswagon beetle.
1:
You’re way too negative. You give up too easily. Hey, what’s that?
2:
Who cares. We’ll never be rescued.
1:
No, look, it’s a helicopter. Get up and wave your arms.
2:
Why? We’ll never be rescued.
1:
Hey, they’re coming down here.
2:
So what? We’ll never be rescued.
1:
They dropped a rope.
2:
And you’re point is…? Just because someone drops a rope doesn’t mean that
it’s for you. They’re probably using it to catch a really large fish.
1:
Here comes a rescue guy.
2:
He’s probably coming down here to tell us he can’t save us.
MAN:
I’m here to save you.
2:
Ok, so he’s here to save us. But there probably won’t be any hot chocolate
for us on the helicopter.
MAN:
We’ve got an expresso machine on board.
2:
With flavored creams?
MAN:
Well…no.
2:
Then I’m not going.
1:
Come on. Let’s go.
2:
Fine. You can save my life, but I’m sure something bad will happen sometime.
And when it does, I’m going to say that I had to go through it because you
saved my life. Thanks a lot!
By
Lloyd Evans
© 2000 Lloyd Evans